Ask Chickbait

Wanted: Hot Lesbian Following

2005-05-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Chickbait:

I have a seriously devastating problem: no hot lesbian groupies. That's right, you heard me. I am a lesbian and I have a band, a semi-quasi good band, and I have NO lesbian groupies. Much less hot ones. I need to feel the LOVE!

Chickbait, oh wisest-of-the-wise: How on earth do I amass a proper lesbian following for my band? What do I do? I'M DESPERATE!

Desperately,
Girl without Lesbian Groupies.

Dear Girl without Lesbian Groupies,

The simple solution to this problem would be to get Chickbait, or a suitable alternative to attend all of your bands events. Ok, who am I kidding, there is no one who compares to Chickbait. Let's face it, you want chicks, you apparently need bait. You can only hope that once you get the bait there, that the chicks will swarm and continue to swarm even if the bait becomes otherwise engaged and doesn't make it to the shows. At some point, it would probably be best that Chickbait left the scene, otherwise the hot girls might fail to pay attention to the band and might just never realize how good it really is since there attention will be focused elsewhere.

Find a close alternative to Chickbait and try your luck. Surely you know one woman who is hot and irresistible who could at least attempt this task for you. If she can't do the job, I'd recommend performing half-naked or studying the fine art of being your own Chickbait. This isn't a fast solution, but you just might be able to pull it off. If all else fails, give me a call, surely I can bring you a few hot lesbian groupies. Oh, and never, ever, ever let the hot lesbian groupies know that you are desperate that won't help your cause at all!

-Chickbait

Warmed By An Old Flame

2005-05-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Chickbait

So.. I recently tracked down an old flame and found out she is currently in a serious relationship with someone else. I have this nagging desire to email her daily. My excuse is that I am trying to help her find a job because he hates Dallas and wants to move back to NWA.

Please tell me why getting entangled in an old relationship where the other party is already involved with someone is a very bad idea. And/or comment on why I should be a home wrecker and take her for myself!!!

Thank you!

There is something to be said for an old flame. Obviously, there must have been good parts of the relationship or you wouldn't be tempted to take her back. Of course, since they are an ex that must mean there were also problems in the relationship, what relationship doesn't have them you might ask, but still you should know what they were/would be in the future. It's important that you consider these things anytime you are considering hooking up with an ex, but it's especially important when that person is in another relationship. That is, of course, unless you just want a good lay and you happen to know that this is a good place to get that. It also depends on how you feel about the flame? Are you wanting to get into a real relationship with this person and make it last? If so, probably it would be best to at least get them to break up with their current girl before you initiate starting more than a platonic relationship with her. Or, back to the great source of a lay. If you don't want a relationship, the chickbait rule of thumb is act first, and think later. This is an even better option if you think she may be coming to town to try to get a job, but might not stay. Why not have some fun for old times sake? Sure, something more might develop, but if not, at least you had fun along the way!

-Chickbait

NutFree Speaks

2005-05-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Chickbait,

is it okay for me to eat peanuts if i'm a lesbian? Or any kind of nuts
for that matter. I don't think so but my partner seems to think that
its ok.

-nutfree in oklahoma

Dear nutfree,

At some point in their life everyone must answer the question of whether they will or will not be a nut eater. Honestly? It's a personal choice. However, I would be sure to spend a good deal of time considering your real stance on nut eating, it could impact your life greatly. Do you want to have people talking about you as a nut eater? Would this be a rumour you wouldn't mind having spread? Can you stomach being with someone who considers themself to be a nut eater? Maybe there are some nuts you can imagine eating and others you just know that you can't. Nuts come in all shapes, sizes, smells and tastes - make your choices wisely, and enjoy. I personally, choose not to enjoy nuts myself and prefer to surround myself with women who make the same choice. Women who eat nuts tend to be saltier than I typically like, not to insinuate that exceptions can't be made for the right woman.

-Chickbait